


After the nightmare, hope

by NoMoreBeer4U



Series: After the nightmare series [9]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Ascended Daniel Jackson, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s06e06 Abyss (Stargate), Established Relationship, Glowy sex, M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:02:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24978874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMoreBeer4U/pseuds/NoMoreBeer4U
Summary: After his ordeal in Ba'al's fortress, Jack has an unexpected visit.
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Series: After the nightmare series [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704055
Kudos: 20





	After the nightmare, hope

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The usual, they're not mine, I don't make money with this, blah, blah, blah.

“Hi, Jack.”

The Colonel stopped on his tracks, and the towel wrapped around his waist slipped and crumpled in a heap to his feet. He stared open-mouthed stunned at the figure sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Daniel?” He whispered. And then he quickly composed himself. “Did I fall in the shower and hit my head? Wait, don’t answer. They say that it's not crazy to have hallucinations, what's crazy is to wait for them to reply.” He picked up the towel, and ignoring the apparition, he finished drying his torso and looked for clothes in the drawers.

Daniel sighed soundly. “Jack, I'm real, we've been through this before.

“Oh, yes, we have, haven’t we? Thrice in a row. I think I'll let MacQuack have a look at my head.

“Jack, you’re not delusional, neither you were before.”

“Oh, no, I were before.” The colonel started to dress angrily. “It had to be a hallucination, right? Because getting this into perspective, there’s no way my Daniel, my friend, my lover, my partner, the man I consider my husband, with all those magic glowy powers, had let me suffer what I did in the hands of that fucking snakehead!” He furiously threw a t-shirt to the floor.

Daniel looked at him and found sparkling chocolate eyes glaring at him. His soul shrank.

“Jack, I told you before, I couldn’t do anything, they wouldn't have let me,” he said with pleading eyes.

“They, Daniel? They who? I didn’t see anyone else there.”

“They are always there, the others. They have a very strict rule of not interfering.”

“Says the man who once interfered between me and a staff blast,” Jack retorted bitterly.

“They would have stopped me before I did anything, and then they would have punished me.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jack replied sarcastically. “What would have they done? Make you write on a glowy board “I won't help my partner anymore" one hundred times?”

“I don’t think you understand the level of punishments up there.” Daniel sounded resigned.

“Besides,” Jack continued, “since when do you care about rules? All those years without following orders and all of a sudden you submit to a bunch of strangers’ rules?”

Daniel stared at him in disbelief and shook his head. “After all we've been through, do you think I enjoyed seeing you suffer like this? Do you really believe that no part of my soul died with every knife wound, with every drop of acid? The pain I suffered when I died was nothing compared to the pain I felt watching you hurting, seeing you die over and over again.” His voice rose. “Do you really think I didn’t care?! Do you really think I wouldn’t have done anything if I could?!”

They stared at each other for some seconds and Jack saw authentic pain in the other man’s eyes. He looked away.

“No, I guess not,” Jack whispered to the floor. Then he looked at his lover in the eye again. “But I thought that you… “ he sighed deeply. “Daniel, you kept calling me “friend”.” He drew quotation marks with his fingers.

Daniel looked at him embarrassed. “Yeah, well, you know… after all these months, I…hmm… wasn’t sure if you… I mean, you didn’t correct me, so I thought, that maybe…” He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“What?” Jack asked a bit too harshly. “Do you think I forgot about us. About what we had? That I don’t love you anymore? Just because you’re up there?”

“You rejected me, what was I supposed to think?” Daniel defied.

“What are you talking about?”

“When I offered you ascension. It hurt, you know?” Daniel looked at his lover with saddened eyes. “When you told me that you’d rather die-die than coming with me.” His voice trailed off to a whisper.

_Shit._

Jack shut his eyes and ran a hand through his hair angrily. “Crap. Danny, I’m such an idiot… I thought I was delusional, I didn’t really think you were real. Damn, I'm not even sure if I'm not hallucinating right now. Hell, I miss you so much that I’m afraid my brain is playing tricks on me.”

“I understand it, Jack. I really do. And I realize this isn’t fair to you. You deserve a real relationship, to be happy with someone flesh and bone at your side. I can’t give you that anymore.” The archaeologist’s voice cracked. “I have no right to steal it from you. Maybe Sam…”

“Stop! Stop it right away!” Jack rubbed his face in frustration and tried to calm himself. He didn’t want to get angry. Those rare occasions he could meet Daniel, delusions or not, were precious to him. He wasn’t going to waste them in an argument. But looked like Daniel’s old insecurities were striking back again. When he talked, his tone was much softer.

“Baby, my feelings haven’t changed. Every day without you is a living hell. Don’t ask me to love anyone else, because there is no one, no one I could possibly love more than you. Have you forgotten your visit after you ascended?”

“No, no, of course not,” Daniel replied with a low voice.

“We are a unit, and it hasn’t changed, not for me, at least.” At that moment, Jack wanted nothing more than to wrap his lover into his arms and not let him go. Knowing that he could no longer touch him, saddened him deeply. He missed those talented hands so much, caressing him, holding him, stroking him in the perfect spots. “Daniel, I believed you when you told me you would come back to me. Was I wrong? Was it a lie?”

“No, no, of course not, Jack!” the archaeologist replied with anguished voice. “That guy, Orlin, Sam’s friend, he did it, so it has to be a way. But I haven’t figured it out yet. What if I can’t? Or what if it’s too late by then? I don’t have the right to condemn you to a lonely life.”

“Danny, stop your hyperactive brain… mind… whatever you have now, and listen to me. I love you. Now, before and always. Nobody, I repeat, nobody can take your place. Not now, not ever. And I know you. You’re the smartest man I know. You figured out the Stargate, for crying out loud. You will figure this out also. I trust you. You will find the way, and I promise I’ll wait what’s necessary. I-love-you.”

Daniel’s soul expanded with renewed emotion. He could feel Jack’s love as something tangible and all the barriers he had forced himself to build for the last months crumpled like a house of cards.“God, Jack, my feelings haven’t changed either, of course not. I love you too, of course, I do. When you were in that cell, god, it was so hard to pretend to be detached. And knowing I had the power and not being able to save you…” he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

Jack observed him for a while, trying to read his body language. Something wasn’t quite right. “Daniel, how are you doing, really? You told me you were doing well, but that’s not the impression I’m having right now?”

Daniel bit his lower lip. “Well, I may have exaggerated a bit about that.”

“What?”

“What I'm learning about the universe functioning is… amazing! Do you remember that stuff in Heliopolis?” The archaeologist's eyes shone for a brief moment and his enthusiasm reminded Jack that time on Ernest planet when he was playing with the alien doohickey.

“Meaning of life stuff, huh?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“But?”

“Huh?”

“I foresee a “but" here.”

“Yeah, well… about that rules thing. God, Jack, they have rules and restrictions on everything. Luckily, I don’t need to pee anymore because I feel like I should have to ask for permission every time.”

“That bad, huh?”

“And the no interference rule is unbreakable. What’s the sense of all that if I can spare the pain on people I care about? Every time I left you I went to beg them. Ultimately Oma told me that if I broke the rule, besides stopping me before I could do anything, they’d banish me forever.”

“What, like being expelled from high school?”

“I think more like…” he mimicked an explosion with his fingers.

What, like… poof?” Jack made a face.

“I don’t know, something like that, yeah, I guess. I couldn’t have done anything then.”

Jack frowned and stared intently at Daniel’s deep sapphire eyes and suddenly everything was crystal clear.“It was you, right? You didn’t just give me moral support, did you? You gave Teal’c the idea to ally with Yu.”

“Guilty of charges?” Daniel smiled awkwardly.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said softly.

“What for?”

“For thinking that you weren’t real? For doubting you? For thinking that you didn’t care anymore? For not wanting to go with you?”

“What matters is that all ended well.”

“Mmm, not so well. I’m still me and you’re still glowy. Maybe it’s just the less bad ending. Hell, even if I had ascended, you couldn’t promise me that we would be together, could you?

“No, no, I couldn’t, but my soul feels so close to yours, that I bet you would have been staying around,” Daniel half-smiled before he saddened again. “Jack, at that moment ascension was the only thing I could offer to end your pain. Watching you die again and again was killing me. Well, not killing-killing, you… know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Jack chuckled.

“When you asked me to help you die, I panicked, you know?”

“Can you panic in your… state?” Jack’s eyebrows rose to the hairline.

“Oh, yeah, I can feel the same emotions and they are even more intense. I was so afraid to lose you forever. The idea of not seeing you again…” Daniel’s face crumpled as in pain and shook his head.

Jack watched in shock as the younger man wrapped his arms around his torso, exactly the same way he used to do when he was alive. Again he felt the urge to hold him tight. Knowing that he couldn’t do it hurt more than any of the daggers’ wounds or any of the acid burns.

“I miss you, Danny. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, Jack. Please tell me you believe now that I’m here, that I’m not a delusion.”

Jack looked intently at his lover sapphire eyes. He wanted so badly to believe that he was real. But how could he be one hundred percent sure? He was just energy, a kind of projection. If he tried to touch him his hand would pass through him, like a ghost. How could he be real-real? Trying to rationalize it was starting to give him a headache.

“I believe you, Daniel. I believe you are here, but I’m not sure at what level. God, I miss your touch so much…” his voice broke and trailed to nothing.

“Close your eyes,” Daniel said softly.

“What?”

“Close your eyes, Jack, trust me.”

The colonel stood right there, dressed only in his underwear and sweatpants, and did as he was told. Daniel moved closer, leaned forward, and brushed his lips with Jack’s. The colonel startled at the unexpected touch but kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to open them and discover that everything was a figment of his troubled mind. Daniel deepened the kiss and when Jack felt his tongue demanding entrance had to admit to himself that it felt absolutely real. Maybe he wasn’t hallucinating after all. He broke the kiss and pulled away. He looked at Daniel, utterly shocked.

“But… how? The last time my shoe passed just through you.”

“That’s what I came to show you. Let’s say I've learned a few tricks since then.”

“Daniel, that was just ten days ago.”

“I learn fast,” the archaeologist grinned broadly. Then, all of a sudden his expression turned to one of grave concern. He cupped Jack’s jaw with his hands and tenderly stroked his cheeks with his very solid thumbs.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be able to visit,” Jack whispered, hypnotized by the intense look of his lover’s azure eyes.

“I was worried about you. I wanted to be sure you were coping.”

“Won’t you be punished for this?”

“I'm not interfering, I'm just comforting you. I don't think they care much about that. Anyway, I can’t keep this state for too long.” He moved forward and embraced Jack tightly. He buried his face in the hollow of his neck and inhaled his scent. “God, Jack, I’m so, so sorry you had to go through such ordeal. Nobody deserves to experience so much pain, you the last of all. I was so scared. I was afraid Ba’al wouldn’t resurrect you in the end, and you’d die there, and I'd never see you again.”

Jack tightened the embrace and shuddered to the memory.

“Daniel, baby, you’re trembling. How… can you actually do that?”

“I guess I didn’t release all my burden after all,” he snorted. He latched his lips on Jack’s again. The kiss was hungry, demanding, and Jack responded equally. Daniel pushed his lover backward and he landed with his back on the bed. The archaeologist straddled him. Naked. Jack stared open-mouthed stunned.

“How the hell did you do that?”

“I told you. New tricks,” Daniel bobbed his eyebrows seductively. Then he leaned forward and captured Jack’s lips again. While kissing, they struggled with the Colonel’s sweatpants and boxers until they ended up in a heap on the floor. Both men moaned loudly as their erected cocks rubbed together. Daniel started a trail of kisses from Jack’s jaw. He stopped at the side of his neck and sucked. Then he resumed his way to Jack’s nipples. He licked and sucked and each one of them hardened instantaneously. Jack shivered and his skin covered with goosebumps.

“Oh, please, God, let this be real,” he whispered with emotion.

“Well, I'm not God, but if my word is valid, I can tell you this is very, absolutely, completely real,” Daniel said and resumed his trail of wet kisses. Jack cock was achingly hard and he arched his back and moaned, surrendered to his pleasure. And for Daniel, as he really couldn’t feel pain anymore, the sensation was one of fullness. That was something new, and it couldn’t compare to anything he had felt before. The feeling of being with Jack, loving his body again, was sheer bliss, pure ecstasy. He was sure if he still had had a real heart, it would have burst by now. He kissed Jack’s stomach down to his navel. He dipped his tongue inside and he licked and kissed the area around.

“God, Daniel, you're such a cock-tease, you’re driving me crazy,” Jack panted. He noticed Daniel’s smile against his belly. One more kiss and he engulfed the whole of Jack’s length in his mouth.

“Jesus Christ!” Jack’s eyes snapped open and clutched the covers with both hands.

Daniel started to work on his lovers cock with delight. Jack closed his eyes again and dove into the wave of sensations. Daniel’s tongue was licking, his lips sucking, his teeth scraping and Jack bent his legs and began to rock his hips upward. The archaeologist put his palm flat on the colonel’s belly to control the strength of the pushes and prevent the gag reflex.

“God, Daniel, wait, slow down, don’t make me come… yet “ Jack panted. “ I want to… feel you inside… me, I need… to feel you… inside… me.”

For an answer, Daniel sneaked one hand passed Jack’s balls and began to massage his perineum. The colonel moaned loudly. At that moment, the only thing Jack’s brain could process was the pleasure. The pressure of Daniel’s hand warming his belly, the squeeze of Daniel’s mouth heating his penis, the stroke in his perineum sending jolts of pleasure right to his balls.

“Danny, please, I'm not gonna last, I wanna come with you inside me.”

The colonel felt Daniel’s finger reaching his sphincter and he didn’t seem to have any intention to stop.

“Wait, lube,” he managed to mumble between moans.

Daniel let go of Jack’s cock and moved to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. When he broke it, he looked at the older man with a mischievous smile. “Do you remember those tricks I told you about?”

And with that, he pushed his finger into Jack’s hole. It slid easily, much better than if it had been coated with the best of the lubes.

“Oh, shit!” Jack exclaimed. “I'm not gonna ask how you learned that, oh, oh fuck, baby, yeah.”

Daniel added a second finger and then a third. Then he kneeled between Jack’s open legs and put his feet on his shoulders. That was their favorite position for lovemaking, so they could see each other’s faces.

When he began to penetrate Jack with his penis, the colonel was already in the seventh heaven. Daniel was using the perfect mixture of strength and tenderness. When the perfect thrust hit Jack’s prostate, the colonel arched his back and screamed.

“Oh fuck, Daniel, fuck, Jesus Christ!”

Daniel started to thrust rhythmically. At the same time, he pumped Jack’s cock. Every time he hit the colonel’s gland it sent jolts of pleasure all over his body. Daniel’s own pleasure was also overwhelming, and he wondered how it was possible to feel so alive being dead. He increased the rhythm of his pushes. Jack helped with his hips. The connection was perfect.

“God Danny, harder, yeah baby, harder, harder.”

Daniel complied. He increased the rhythm and new waves of pleasure ran through both men, hitting every cell, every molecule. It wasn’t just a physical act. It was a communion of souls. Jack could feel Daniel’s joy and Daniel could feel Jack’s as if they really were just one heart, one soul. They looked at each other’s eyes, and Jack noticed that Daniel was… glowing? He was covered by what looked like a thin layer of silvery glitter. And he looked absolutely beautiful, like an angel. Jack was hypnotized. At that moment, he thought about how lucky he was to be loved by that man. And he knew, with absolute conviction, that Daniel spoke the truth, that he'd do anything humanly, nope, screw it, everything “ascendedly” possible to come back to him, because that rush of love he was feeling at this moment was so powerful, that not even death could overcome it.

One last push and both men clenched their teeth, arched their backs to the impossible, and came at the same time, convulsing as jets and jets of semen filled Jack ass and bathed Daniel’s stomach.

“Gnnnngghhh, Danny!”

“Jaaaack!”

They stayed like that, panting and shuddering until the last of the spasms stopped. Daniel carefully removed his penis from inside his lover and looked at him. Jack was breathing raggedly. His eyes were squeezed shut and his fists were still clenching the comforter.

“Jack?” he asked with concern. He watched in horror as a thick tear escaped the corner of his lover’s eye. “Jack, what is it?”

The colonel shook his head but said nothing.

“Jack, please, talk to me. What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Please, look at me, open your eyes, look at me.”

“Can’t,” Jack’s voice cracked.

“What? Why?” Daniel urged.

“Afraid.”

“God, Jack, afraid of what?”

“You’re not real.”

If Daniel had had a heart, it would have skipped a beat, or two. His soul ached.

“Jack, look at me please, I'm here, I'm really here, and I still love you, and I'll find the way back to you.” Daniel wondered how his voice could sound so teary when he couldn’t cry anymore.

Jack shook his head again. “N-o-o,” he sobbed.

Daniel stroke his face and brushed a new tear with his thumb.

“Jack, please, open your eyes,” the archaeologist’s voice broke. “It's me, please, believe in me.”

Jack's eyelids lifted slowly and he looked at his lover. Without warning, he sat bolt upright and hugged him tightly. Daniel returned the embrace immediately. Jack buried his face in the archaeologist’s neck and inhaled deeply. Daniel’s scent filled his nostrils.

“I love you, Daniel, I miss you so much, so much, please be real, baby, please be real.”

“I'm am, Jack, I am,” Daniel whispered in his ear while running his hand along the colonel’s back.

“All those days in that cell, I didn’t know what was real anymore. I saw that woman, and then you were there, but then you left. I called you but you didn’t come, and I thought I had imagined you all along, and then the withdrawal messed so much with my head…”

“Shhhh, I’m here now,” Daniel soothed him. “You’re gonna be ok.”

Jack pulled away and stared at his lover’s. Had his eyes always been that blue? It was like ascension had added a new level to his natural attractiveness. To Jack, he was looking more beautiful than ever.

They lay on the bed and hugged in a tangle of entwined arms and legs. It was almost as if nothing had happened in the last months. Except Daniel’s heartbeat wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Jack could feel the warmth of his skin and smell his scent, but the familiar pounding under his chest was missing. It felt strange, but not necessarily awkward. Daniel was much more than an organic machine setting a rhythm. A memory came to Jack’s mind. “ _I think our past experience should be telling us to be careful about deciding what is and what isn't a life form_ ”, Daniel had said that time they were dealing with the robot Reese. He mocked the archaeologist that day. He smiled at the bittersweet memory. Reese didn’t have a heart. Neither did their robotic selves or Lotan, the artificial Enkaran. But that didn't stop Daniel from considering them true life forms. Daniel no longer had a heart either. But that didn't mean he was dead, did it? He was just different. His soul, what made Daniel-Daniel, was still there. Their connection was intact. Jack felt sorry, not for Daniel but himself. He would miss him terribly until the day they could meet again. But he knew he had to let Daniel go, to complete his new mission whatever it was. But Daniel had said he'd find a way back, and Daniel with a goal was like a dog with a bone.

“You won’t be here tomorrow when I wake up, will you?” Jack asked even knowing what the answer would be.

“I’m sorry,” was Daniel's sad reply.

“Don’t be. I think I might be beginning to understand what or who you are now. I wouldn’t have survived Ba’al without you. I know it. I’m sorry for not fully believe you were there. You always beat my expectations, make the impossible. You’ve saved my sorry ass more times than I can count. Thank you for taking care of me even now.”

“I never really left.”

“I know.”

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

“I love you, Daniel, always.”

“I love you too, Jack, forever.”

Deep love, commitment, and hope were shared in a last long and tender kiss. Then Jack turned on his side and Daniel spooned behind him, holding him tight. Even knowing Daniel didn’t like the idea, Jack had always seen himself as Daniel’s protector at some level. Occupational hazard, he guessed. Not because the man was weaker, on the contrary, if Jack had gone through all Daniel’s rough experiences in life, he’d probably be a messy wreck by now. But now, wrapped into his lover's arms, he felt protected and cherished. Daniel would be there for him, and in the end, everything was going to be ok.

***

**The next morning**

Jack woke up and immediately noticed that something was… missing. No pressure on his waist, no warmth on his chest, nothing intertwining his legs. He swallowed and turned around. Emptiness. He sat bolt upright. He touched the pillow next to his own. Cold. He smelled it. No Daniel's scent. No. He couldn’t have imagined everything. No. Daniel was there last night. They made love. It felt real. It felt more than real. It felt cosmic. It hadn’t been a dream. It hadn’t. I couldn’t. He buried his face on his hands.

“God, please, tell me it was real, tell me there is hope.”

His head was spinning. He wobbled to the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and washed his face with cold water. He looked at himself in the mirror. Whose was that panicked face that was staring him back? And then he saw it. He leaned forward to look at it better. Yep. There it was. Not a doubt. A big dark red hickey on the side of his neck, just at the exact spot Daniel had sucked.

Jack grinned.

**The end for now**


End file.
